MOVE MERCHANTS are the hip-hop duo of Manchild and DJ Sean P. They’ve made two great albums together.
In their latest endeavor, Manchild and Sean P worked together for years and had no secrets except for one: Sean P kept a shoe box in the trunk of his Trans Am that he forbade Manchild from ever opening. But when Sean P was on his last record scratch—and with his blessing—Manchild opened the box and found an unfinished crocheted karate belt and $10,000 in cash.
“My friend dUSt, not from Mars ILL, told me that the secret to a happy working relationship was to never argue,” Sean P explained. “Instead, I should keep quiet and crochet a karate belt.”
Manchild was touched. Only one unfinished belt was in the box—that meant Sean had rarely been angry with him in many years. “But what about all this cash money?” Manchild asked.
“Oh,” Sean said, “that’s what I made from selling karate belts.”
“Phenomenal raps and beats, but was expecting more of a video game experience. Confused expectations made this a mediocre experience.”
“These are the kinds of rappers I wish my daughters would marry. Are these guys available for Quinceañeras?”
“The complete lack of acting made this movie unwatchable–literally. The soundtrack was pure genius though, despite the lack of actual car chases.”
“Any time you get the #8, #5 and #2 top Christian rappers of all time in one movie, you know it’s gonna be an album, and not a movie.”